


Why?

by Ixiblitz



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Haikyuu prompt, M/M, Romantic Confusion, Sexual Confusion, Slow Burn, it's kind of sad sorry, original prompt, this was kind of a vent at first
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-21
Updated: 2017-08-21
Packaged: 2018-12-18 09:54:39
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,150
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11871873
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ixiblitz/pseuds/Ixiblitz
Summary: Others seemed to pass right by him not expecting much to occur, like he was any average background character not worth exploring. But it was funny to Takeda because the man was amusing; he had a gruff sort of appearance, but if he were honest, the man was just a complete dear. Ukai Keishin seemed to try hard to push others away with a harsh outside. Almost like he was scared to let anyone see how vulnerable he truly was.





	Why?

**Author's Note:**

> There isn't enough fan fictions where Takeda is the one that is unsure and/or confused/sad. So my prompt is pretty much that Takeda doesn't understand why Ukai makes him feel the way he does.

He didn't really understand where it all started from. There was no exact warning or defined setup on how he started to feel around the other. Takeda Ittetsu, a man nearly thirty, is feeling inauspicious feelings that he should have felt way earlier in life. They almost make him feel ill to the stomach; they make him ache in his knees, feeling as if he's about to collapse. One would describe Takeda of being unable to properly understand how to connect with and process reality. He can understand people easily: people are like books, predictable, almost whimsical with with how much everyone has in common, yet there always are few people who stand out a bit from the rest. Well, people who seem different in his own eyes.

The other was different to him. Others seemed to pass right by him not expecting much to occur, like he was any average background character not worth exploring. But it was funny to Takeda because the man was amusing; he had a gruff sort of appearance, but if he were honest, the man was just a complete dear. Ukai Keishin seemed to try hard to push others away with a harsh outside. Almost like he was scared to let anyone see how vulnerable he truly was. It was ironic due to his name having the meaning "connecting heart". When they first met, Takeda found himself having much admiration for how social and powerful the man seemed. When they went out drinking together for the first time, it was after a karasuno victory, Takinoue and Shimada were also there. Takeda was pulled along, he didn't mind. Especially since Shimada and Takinoue payed for the first few rounds, it's hard to say no to alcohol especially when it's free on your tab. After they finished around two am, Shimada asked Takeda to take Ukai home so he could help escort the passed out Takinoue. Takeda thought it was funny how cute Ukai acted when he was drunk. He was awfully affectionate.

On the walk back he babbled how much he loved the team and how proud he was, almost like they were his own children. Takeda loved noticing the polar change of character of Ukai. Ukai was for sure a dynamic character, like a protagonist within a story. What did that make himself? He was pretty stoic, he probably was a useless background character. Ukai is starting to sob a little again, it's really cute. Takeda decides he may tease the other later about how silly he is when he's drunk. Not even just drunk, he's kind of a dork normally. A really silly one. Takeda laughed a bit to himself. He can feel himself start to feel almost light headed, but in a good way. His stomach seems to start to act up a bit, causing his knees to feel unstable, but it wasn't that bad of a feeling. In fact, it was something new and rather auspicious. He liked how he felt around Ukai.

Once they got to Ukai's home, Ukai begged the other not to leave him. It made him feel guilty for doing exactly the polar opposite of what Ukai asked him to do. When Takeda got home he felt warm. He brushed the feeling away and decided to ready himself for bed. The next day at volleyball practice Ukai didn't make eye contact with him, it bothered Takeda immensely. Ukai seemed very off, he wasn't focusing and a few of the players had to say his name a few times before he snapped back into the current. Takeda worries if he did something to Ukai that is making him act this way. It logically was impossible but he couldn't help but worry. The next day everything return to normal.

Takeda felt a ping of courage within himself and decided that he wanted to be around the other again, but just one on one. He asked the other to share sake with him. Ukai gladly accepted. Free alcohol was the best alcohol. They got carried away. Takeda found himself being a little more than just tipsy, he also found himself idly staring at Ukai more than he ought to be. He started to feel ill again, but it wasn't pleasant. It was almost like a ill yearning to have something he cannot. Ukai was in no condition to return home, and Takeda was in no condition to help him home. Ukai stayed at over at the teacher's house. Takeda slept on the couch letting Ukai sleep in his bed; Ukai drank much more than he himself did, so it may feel better when he wakes up knowing he slept well in a bed. Ukai was so much fun to be around. Takeda noticed how Ukai seems to be much more vulnerable around him. It was weird, like he had a high wall up around everyone, including his friends, but around Takeda he seemed to show more emotions. Takeda hoped that the glint in Ukai's eyes was directed to him. It was probably unlikely, but that thought stayed locked in Takeda's mind.

"What if he feels the same way I do?"

\-----

Takeda woke up to find that Ukai had already left. He was quite devastated, because it was a Sunday so the both were off. He pushed the thought that he just wanted to see what Ukai was like in the morning to the back of his head. He made some rice and coffee and started to finish grading some papers. Grading period was almost over and he had lots of work to do. It was very hard to focus. Why did Ukai just leave? Did he wake up realizing he feel embarrassed for letting himself be around Takeda? Takeda didn't want Ukai to be embarrassed around him. He hoped that tomorrow Ukai wouldn't avoid them like the first time after they went drinking. Takeda didn't like grading reading comprehension questions, because it was boring just repetitively seeing the same answers rather than learning the opinions of his students. Takeda wanted to know what Ukai thought of him. It was hard to say. He didn't want Ukai to distance himself from him, like he did to everyone else. Takeda rubbed his eyes. He was crying and he had no reason to.

He found himself avoiding Ukai the next day, he was sick of thinking about him all the time. Especially since he probably wanted nothing to do with the teacher in the first place. He left practice early so Ukai couldn't approach him afterwards. He felt almost scared to be around him now, he didn't understand what he was feeling. He felt as if Ukai was playing with his emotions like a useless plaything. Because he still feels that wonderful ill feeling, but he's starting to feel almost depressed as well. The next morning he contemplates calling out sick from work because he just feels so miserable. That was irresponsible and dumb; Takeda went to work. His students and other faculty members must have noticed he was emotionally distressed; No one approached him all day. It made him feel irritated. It was Ukai's fault, he played with Takeda's feelings like a dumb play-toy. The wort part was he didn't even know he was doing it.

The next day he stayed home. He was angry that he couldn't control how he felt. Takeda spent most of the day dozing off with he television as white noise in the background. He wanted Ukai to apologize. For how he was making him feel. It was stupid, the entire situation was a complete mess that no one could control. Takeda couldn't even date a man in such a small town anyway. He might as well just give up. Takeda needs some painkillers. He cringes at the fact that when he left his house to get them he mindlessly went to the Sakanoshita store. Ukai noticed him through the window before Takeda could get away.

"Hey are you alright? Everyone has been worried sick about you?" His voice comes out very gentle. The teacher makes a visibly confused face. Why would anyone even care about him? He's just a static character. He almost wants to slap the younger man in front of him across the face and scream how irritated he's causing him to be. He doesn't do that. Instead he puts on a mask. A pleasant one.

"I'm okay really," He laughs a bit to himself, "I've just been kind of stressed. Grades are due soon." He rubs his arm awkwardly. The light headed feeling returns to him. His knees start to feel when when Ukai makes a worried sort of face. There's a long pause, Ukai opens and shuts his mouth multiple times before he just decides to remain silent. The younger sighs a bit and runs his hand through his fake-blonde locks. Takeda wonders if Ukai's hair is soft. Takeda wants to tell Ukai how he's been feeling. How he doesn't understand it, but he wants Ukai to understand. He decides to just turn around and leave before he can show any vulnerability around the younger man. Takeda wants to scream and cry, maybe even punch something, but it's rather pointless. Before he can walk no more than five feet away Ukai grabs his arm. At first it's very tight and it startles the older man; Takeda yips in pain, but Ukai notices and he immediately softens his grip and eventually lets go now that he has the others attention. He decided that it was most safe to place his hand on his neck so he wouldn't teacher out for the teacher impulsively again. 

"I-...I'm sorry about that. I'm stupid I know I sorry." Ukai starts to back away. He looks like he wants to say something, anything. "Just forget it, I'm sorry." Instead he turns the other way and pulls out a cigarette. Ukai takes a few more steps away before he lights it and takes a deep inhale. 

"Why are you doing this to me...?" He didn't mean for it to come out. Ukai turns back around to look at the other, rather puzzled.

"...Sorry, what?" He didn't even hear him.

"Why do you get so close to me then just leave me wondering what I did wrong? You're making me angry wondering about this, Ukai-kun." It comes out very harsh. He didn't mean to snap at Ukai. Ukai makes a face he doesn't understand. Takeda feels like he just kicked a puppy and he feels himself start to cry a little. "You're doing it now, Stop it! You're making it so hard for me to understand you!" Ukai stands there silently, he presses his lips together like he himself is about to cry. Takeda pushes his glasses off his eyes as he rubs them harshly. "I don't understand why I feel like I do around you...." Takeda stands there hoping there aren't any bystanders. It would be difficult to explain the situation at hand. Ukai puts his arms around Takeda's shoulders, pulling the older man into an embrace. There's a few beats in time before anyone says anything. Ukai lets go of Takeda and turns away again.

"Sorry, okay? Here I'll be honest.... I like you okay? I've been thinking about you and it's been making me scared." Ukai shifts awkwardly in his stance. "I don't know what I'm doing or why I'm doing anything, but I've been avoiding you because I've been scared if you found out you'd leave okay?"

"Ukai Keishin, are you telling me you've been avoiding me because you're interested in me?" Ukai nearly tripped over his feet.

"Don't say it aloud! It's embarrassing!" Ukai stuttered.

"So you're embarrassed around me?"

"T-that's not what I mean!!" A few school girls walking by start to stare and Ukai starts to flush red. He pulls Takeda into the store and to the back.

"You're different, Ukai-kun." Takeda offers, almost smiling.

"What?"

" I thought you were avoiding me because you may have found out that I'm fond of you and you didn't reciprocate." Ukai sputtered at this.

"I- You-..?!" he shook his head before he continued. "I don't understand."

"I don't really either," Takeda shrugged, "But maybe we can find out together?" Ukai stared at Takeda, a bit confused, before he realized that he was asking him out.

"Sure... I mean.. okay, yeah lets try." Ukai looked away and licked his lips. Takeda's eyes darted towards the other's action. Takeda then bravely took a few steps forward. Ukai stayed in his place but looked back at the older as he approached him, eyes full of something Takeda didn't necessarily understand. He wanted to find out. Ukai was a type of character Takeda had never read about and he wanted to learn more about him.

Takeda then leaned forward and did something he only fretted over and dreamed of. 

\-----

**Author's Note:**

> This is stupid and I'm sorry if there are any grammar mistakes because I'm not very good at the English Language. But I plan on writing more about Takeda and Ukai later. Except more fluff prompts. Ukai is a fluffy hopeless romantic and no one can convince me otherwise. someone Photoshop me on that picture of the guy with a sword holding a cat and photo shop the cat as Ukai.


End file.
